So, Where Is Borito Right Now?

Maria Velez, also known as Borito, died five days ago. She was my mother in law, coworker, and friend. I would like to take this opportunity to share with you some stories about this remarkable woman, and the huge impact she had on my life.

My first conversation with Borito took the form of a plea–specifically, I had just met both her and her daughter (now my wife and lover, Tania) at a networking party in Miami in 2001, and was imploring her to convince her daughter to stay at that party. Sadly, my charm was not up to the task, and both of these remarkable women left. It was months later, after my persistence had paid off and Tania and I were dating, that I had the chance to speak to Borito once again. During this conversation, I learned about her remarkable history.

Though I am sworn to secrecy as to the year, I believe I can safely say that Borito was born a number of years ago in the countryside of Colombia. She was in many respects a born radical, convinced from an early age of the merits of equal rights among the sexes, socialism, and social justice. She also, to the best of my knowledge, did not accept the religion of her forebears, or any other religion.

Eventually, Borito attended law school. However, unlike many lawyers, Borito was not focused on the potential payoff that the profession promised; instead, she became one of the first public defenders in Colombia, coming to the aid of dozens, or even hundreds of defendants who would otherwise never have been able to afford legal representation. She frequently took the side of the near-powerless, low-level, falsely accused revolutionaries and the like, standing up against entrenched interests including corrupt politicians. Her work defending these scapegoats led her to receive numerous threats on her life, though none were strong enough to overwhelm her sense of justice, or to force her to back down. After more than a decade in this pursuit, she moved, along with her family, to the United States.

After this move, Borito was unable to practice law–Louisiana is the only U.S. state that uses Napoleonic law, which is the legal format used in Colombia. Since she didn’t move to that state, she was unable to transfer her extensive experience to the practice of “common law”, which is used everywhere else. Instead, she became an entrepreneur–among other things, she became an independent, motivated, and passionate Mary Kay consultant.

By the time I met Borito and Tania, I had already founded Torrenegra Internet Solutions, though at that time it was still a one-man operation offering consulting services focused on Internet marketing. I was interested in expanding into web development, and I had the skillset needed to build websites. The problem was, I wasn’t good at selling those services. Having seen how well Borito handled clients, I asked her to act as my sales agent. She began selling pre-packaged websites to small businesses in the South Florida region, which I would then build. As the second member of Torrenegra Internet Solutions, she was integral to expanding the business, eventually selling dozens of websites. Many of the clients she originally signed are still clients, and these relationships have represented tens of thousands of dollars of revenue for the company.

Unfortunately, though, that long-term payoff didn’t immediately translate into short-term income. Needing to explore new lands and opportunities, she moved to Chicago in the second half of 2002. There, met Miguel, who would be her partner from that time forward, and they built a life together.

During this period, Tania and I moved to New York City, where we founded Voice123.com. It was a success, and our team grew rapidly. In 2004, we once again hired Borito to provide accounting services for our businesses.Then, in 2005, we asked her to move to the New York Metro area so that she could also take care of our paperwork. She did so, and brought Miguel with her.

It was during this period that I learned the most about my mother-in-law, and all of our shared interests. We both love classical music, cooking, reading, and coming up with conspiracy theories, among many other things. She was the only person I knew who could get more excited than I while watching a live performance of Carmina Burana, or enjoying good old fish-head soup (trust me–it’s good). She taught me to eat better (no french fries for me, please), to read traditional media with a grain of salt, and to embrace new styles of music (including Carlos Gardel, whose tango songs are so infectious that they can turn you into a fan in only a moment).

In 2007, Tania and I decided to go with our mothers on a road trip. We let them choose the place, and these two lawyers picked the birthplace of Western law, Greece. We flew there in November, landed in Athens, rented a car, and started driving. It was the most intellectually fruitful trip of my life, not simply because I was immersed in the birthplace of Western Civilization, but because the four of us could not stop talking about philosophy, religion, history, law, and, sometimes, just funny nonsense. I never felt sleepy while driving as there was always an interesting conversation going on. This trip is one of my most cherished memories.

In fact, the only thing that tarnishes the experience is the fact that one year before, Tania and I learned that Borito had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Though treatment started right way, and Borito received numerous types of chemotherapy throughout those three years, the cancer was already at an advanced stage by the time it was found. Though it continued growing inside her body, little by little, Borito never let it slow her down. Up to a week before she died, she was still writing checks on behalf of our businesses

I don’t want to spoil this remembrance by getting too bogged down in the sad details of her decline, as I want this to be the record of my experience of a remarkable woman. Suffice it to say, she endured incredible pain with an indomitable spirit. Borito breathed for the last time July 1st of 2009, at 12:51 PM ET.

….

Three days ago, I was buying lunch for the family with my best friend, Liliana. Knowing I’m an agnostic, she asked me the following question: “So, where is Borito right now?” This is a hard question for me to answer, though I know that the easiest thing would be to go against my own convictions and imagine that Borito is in another, peaceful place where we may meet her again after we die. That would be dishonest, though. I remained silent, not knowing how to answer her.

Later on, while writing this, I realized that I knew the answer to Liliana’s question. Borito had had a huge impact on my life, improving many aspects of it (beyond the fact that she had given birth to the love of my life), including the way I eat, the way I pursue fairness and justice, and the way I do business. The answer, then, was simple. Where is Borito right now? Here, inside me as I write these lines, a man transformed by the experience of knowing this remarkable woman. Inside my wife, whose very being was shaped by Borito, inside and out. Inside every man, woman and child she touched in her (too-short) remarkable life. Even though she is gone, she still influences the choices we make every day. She is still helping us to become better human beings every day. We, in turn, will pass on a little bit of her legacy to future generations. Thank you, Borito, and we miss you.

Alexander Torrenegra

From left to right: Mama Katia, Borito, and Tania, my lover, in our trip to Greece (2007).